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³¼EUROPE IS COMING¼³
³¼ARE YOU READY ?¼³
¹
The European Community is coming and
killing you all dead. This article is
to be read by people in those
countries that are not yet member of
the EC. But others can have some
thoughts about it after reading this.
Are you interested in politics? Don`t
answer, because you can`t hide from
the subject of this article even in
your favorite diskmag TOP SECRET. It
is about the European Community which
consists of lots more than just the
good and the bad, which are caused by
importation of the Danish fertilizer-
cheese and German beer. Should we be
more european or have we had enough?
What do you think? Don`t listen to
the leaders, just do this filosophic-
minded test by the gurus at Anjovis
Sisters factories.
Here we go:
²1) You are going to do your every-
morning shopping. What do you do
to find a parking place?
¹
A) You leave your home early to find
a parking place before the traffic
jam.
B) You leave your home not careing
about the time, and try to find a
parking place.
C) You sneak into the town in the
middle of the night and sleap in a
sleeping bag in the best parking
space you can find.
²
2) You go the local supermarket to
buy a pair of bra (don`t ask why)
but there seems to be a megalong
line at the paydesk, what do you
do?
¹
A) Go to the end of line and wait
nicely for your turn.
B) Put the bra back on the shelf and
come back some other time.
C) You wear the bra and walk past the
paydesk while people stare at you?
²
3) You are driving peacefully, when
an unknown car comes from the
right straight in front of you
causing you to an emergency
braking. What do you do?
¹
A) You continue your trip and
gratulate yourself for good your
reflexes.
B) You honk your horn a couplah times
and so showing your agression
towards the other guy.
C) You jump in front of the other
dewd yelling for minutes:
"Bastardo! Bastardo!! Mamma mia!
Bastardo!!!"?
²
4) You are having a walk when you see
an absolutely gorgeous lady in-
front of you. What do you do?
¹
A) You look in the ground shyly and
your face turns red.
B) You can hardly turn your face into
a little smile and squeeze out a
little "Hi".
C) You rub a bottle of gel into your
hair, grab her arse, when 20 of
your friends are driving in a
circle around you with their small
and pitiful mopeds, you follow her
for half an hour, and as a grand
finale you make a rude remark of
her body?
²
5) You come to work in the morning.
What is the first thing you do?
¹
A) You sit in the lavatory and read a
magazine for 20 minutes.
B) Start working.
C) Spend three hours kissing and
hugging your friends like you have
not seen them for 20 years.
²
6) You have a lot of work to do, but
you see the lunch hour has begun.
What do yo do?
¹
A) Eat lunch, read a magazine, and get
back to work after 45 minutes.
B) You don`t care about the clock and
you work until the job is finished.
C) You sleep under a shady tree for
six hours?
²
7) You are on vacation and lying on a
beach, when you see an old donkey,
for the kids to ride with.
¹
A) Who cares? There are stupid donkeys
everywhere.
B) You tap the donkey on the had and
give it a piece of sugar.
C) You hit the donkey rapidly with a
sharp stick, then you let 100 of
your closest friends get on and off
it until it drops dead. Then you
sleep under a shady tree for six
hours?
²
8) You wake up in the middle of the
night and feel a little hungry.
What do you do?
¹
A) Go back to sleep.
B) Sneak into the kitchen, take a
glass of milk and eat a few pieces
of cake.
C) You call up 20 of your friends and
spend the next 12 hours eating
snails, frogs and garlic, smoking
200 packs of cigarettes and
drinking 48 litres of wine?
²
9) Your favorite soccerteam has just
won a match. How do you celebrate
it?
¹
A) You go and take a few beers with
your buddies.
B) You stay home, you don`t care
about the lame soccer.
C) You drive slowly around the town
with your little Fiat, 12 man on
the roof, waving a flag and honking
your fucking horn all night long?
²
10) You sell sandals on a marketplace.
A customer tries a pair and does
not buy them. What do you do?
¹
A) You put the sandals back in their
bag.
B) You go home.
C) You loudly cry for Jesus Christ and
Santa Maria and tell the customer
opinion of his mothers profession?
¹
The points:
You can count your points by adding
1 point for every "A"-answer
2 points for every "B"-answer
3 points for every "C"-answer.
²15 points or under:
Typical man of your country. You
despice all the foreign and you are
a rasist. Your grandfather was an
obertstummfuhrer in the SS-forces in
1940-45. When your country joins the
EC, you die, and that serves you
right!
¹16-19 points:
Average.
²20 or more:
Bravo bravissimo! A real european!
Little strange and alway ready to make
his/her dreams come true, get new
friends and work for the EC.
Congrats!
¹Europeans can contact ANJOVIS SISTERS
for reactions and swapping:
Hitusvinkula / ASS HQ
c/o M.Kivela
Kivelantie 680
69920 Oksakoskki
Finland
Or write your reactions to Top Secret!